What Do I Do When My Candidate Loses??? 13 Things Mentally Strong People Do When Their Candidate Loses….with Amy Morin, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, and the host of Mentally Strong People Podcast: https://amymorinlcsw.com/mentally-strong-people-podcast/
Key Takeaways
- The #1 thing that people are talking to their therapists about is political stress:
- “They’re reaching out and getting help because they’re so stressed out about the election” – Amy Morin
- “Everyone wants you to vote as long as they’re voting on your side” – Amy Morin
- Whoever wins the election, about 80 million Americans will be disappointed with the outcome
- 13 Things Mentally Strong People Do When Their Candidate Loses:
- 1) They Accept The Outcome
- 2) They Name Their Feelings
- 3) They Look At The Facts
- 4) They Argue The Opposite When Thinking Of Doom And Gloom
- 5) They Limit Their Media
- 6) They Stop Commiserating
- 7) They Focus On What They Can Control
- 8) They Resist The Urge To Argue On Social Media
- 9) They Reach For Healthy Coping Skills
- 10) They Take Care Of Themselves
- 11) They Change The Channel In Their Brain
- 12) They Schedule Time To Worry
- 13) They Take Positive Action
- The size of your advance in the book industry is related to 2 things:
- How well your last book sold
- Your social media follower count
Intro
- Amy Morin (@AmyMorinLCSW) is a psychotherapist, mental strength trainer, and international bestselling author. She’s a highly sought after keynote speaker who gave one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.
- Host: James Altucher (@jaltucher)
Books Mentioned
- Amy’s new book is directed towards kid and is called 13 Things Strong Kids Do
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
- Here are the 13 original tips from Amy’s book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
- 1) They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
- 2) They Don’t Give Away Their Power
- 3) They Don’t Shy Away from Change
- 4) They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control
- 5) They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
- 6) They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
- 7) They Don’t Dwell on the Past
- 8) They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
- 9) They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
- 10) They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
- 11) They Don’t Fear Alone Time
- 12) They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything
- 13) They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
Talking About Presidential Elections
- The #1 thing that people are talking to their therapists about is political stress:
- “They’re reaching out and getting help because they’re so stressed out about the election” – Amy Morin
- James has never voted in a presidential election because he likes to say neutral as a writer, podcaster, and someone who has a large audience
- “I think you need to be respectfully neutral to do that” – James Altucher
- “Everyone wants you to vote as long as they’re voting on your side” – Amy Morin
- Whoever wins the election, about 80 million Americans will be disappointed with the outcome
- Whoever wins the 2020 election, keep in mind that the world will go on
- The US has survived, depressions, recessions, world wars, and more. We can survive an election.
- People think every election is the most important election ever. Here’s a quote from a newspaper James found talking about the 1892 election:
- “This is surely the most important election held in America”
- Here’s a quote from the 1940 election:
- “This is the most important election since 1860”
- Here’s a quote from the 1940 election:
- “This is surely the most important election held in America”
13 Things Mentally Strong People Do When Their Candidate Loses
- 1) They Accept The Outcome
- No matter who wins, a mentally strong person will accept the outcome and move on with their lives
- You can throw a pity party and wish things were different, but that’s a waste of time and doesn’t do you any good
- 2) They Name Their Feelings
- Many studies have shown that if you label your feelings, it takes the sting out of it:
- “Just putting a label to those emotions reduces the intensity of them, you start to feel better almost instantly” – Amy Morin
- Many studies have shown that if you label your feelings, it takes the sting out of it:
- 3) They Look At The Facts
- Take a step back to look at what’s true what’s not
- 4) They Argue The Opposite When Thinking Of Doom And Gloom
- If you think the economy will crash if your presidential candidate doesn’t win, argue the opposite
- Just because things will be different, it doesn’t mean things will be worse
- 5) They Limit Their Media
- No one, not even the media, knows exactly what the future holds
- Studies show that watching the evening news can elevate your stress levels
- Limit your media time to 30 minutes
- 6) They Stop Commiserating
- Commiserating, or complaining to others, makes you feel worse and makes the world seem more gloomy
- There’s a big difference between emotional support and commiserating
- “It’s not really all that healthy for us to just sit around and talk about how horrible life is” – Amy Morin
- 7) They Focus On What They Can Control
- You can’t control the outcome of the election but you can control your diet, who you spend time with, how much sleep you get, etc.
- The more we worry about things we can’t control, the more anxious we become
- 8) They Resist The Urge To Argue On Social Media
- People aren’t going to change who they’re going to vote for over a stranger’s opinion on social media
- “You’re not changing anyone’s opinion. You’re just wasting your time and your energy.” – Amy Morin
- 9) They Reach For Healthy Coping Skills
- Have a strategy to handle anxiety, fear, etc.
- Avoid reaching for alcohol or sweets
- Try doing yoga, spending time with loved ones, or other healthy ways of coping
- 10) They Take Care Of Themselves
- Get 8 hours of sleep, exercise daily, and eat healthy
- 11) They Change The Channel In Their Brain
- Recognize when you’re dwelling on the negative or ruminating on a problem instead of trying to solve it
- If you find yourself focusing on something negative, get up and go do something different (cleaning your room, go for a walk, call a friend to catch up, etc.)
- 12) They Schedule Time To Worry
- Give yourself 15 minutes to worry every day. With practice, people can contain their worrying to just 15 minutes a day.
- It’s okay to spend time worrying, the key however, is to be able to contain it
- 13) They Take Positive Action
- Do something kind and positive for someone
- Be kind to your neighbor
- Send a thank you letter to a friend
- Do some community service
- Make your partner laugh
- Do something kind and positive for someone
Additional Notes
- It’s normal for people to have multiple sides of themselves
- You don’t talk to your grandmother the same way you talk to your college friends
- If you’re a content creator, you need to be on social media
- The size of your advance in the book industry is related to 2 things:
- How well your last book sold
- Your social media follower count
Notes Courtesy of Podcast Notes